X Rubicon
Crossing Life, Sex, Love, & Killing in CIA Proxy Wars -- An indictment of US Citizens: ignorantia non excusat
X Rubicon: Crossing Life, Sex, Love, & Killing in CIA Proxy Wars -- An indictment of US Citizens: ignorantia non excusat
2.5 years of deception & death; 40+ years locking away emotions & Truth
From the Foreward: Or, The Vanguard…
"The voice of this narrative is ferocious. It is also prophetic in its plea to open our eyes to the harsh reality of the military, repentance, and redeeming ourselves. Just as I had to block Rubicon’s nightmare attacks and shout at him to stop, the author representing my Beloved’s voice, shouts at us to wake up and stop the needless killing of our imaginary enemies, the veterans we disrespectively send to slaughter, and the families who then are left to cope with the chaos. Sean’s voice is as sharp as Rubicon’s experience is cutting. Rubicon is a very passionate and intense person, as you will see as you read on. Sean matches this passion and intensity beautifully. In order to face the intensity of this suffering, we need a very ferocious voice to beckon us swiftly and forcibly to the truth of what is happening. We need this because we have been entangled sooo very long in the deceit and there is so much at stake.
"As I continue to process the suffering my Beloved has caused and the suffering he has endured, it is like walking through a raging inferno. Fire has two capacities. Fire can just burn and destroy leaving only destruction and ashes. Fire can also purify and open a space for new life to thrive. For over 40 years Rubicon has been engulfed within an inextinguishable fiery hell. It is only by Grace and fortitude that it did not leave him as a pile of ashes. In allowing himself to become vulnerable enough to tell me the truth of his experience, purification began. Working on this book has given him a double dose of vulnerability. He has had to relive each mission and heartbreak again as he retells his story. This book is raw in its honesty and vulnerability. Please treat it with the same honesty and openness in which it is offered to you. You will be transformed in your understanding of humanity. Respect it and invite it to burn up any resistance in you which obstructs you from receiving its truth to purify you…
“I invite you, the reader, not to get trapped in the intensity and overwhelming nature of this narrative. If you get snared in personal shock, judgments, and opinions, you will miss the truth of the message which ultimately can bring about understanding, and radical change. This writing has the potential to shake you to your core and inspire you to open your heart and find compassion. Please allow it to touch you deeply and do its healing work. We are all in this together. You WILL be shocked. This experience is extremely shocking. Some of you will be shocked, because you won’t want to believe such evil demands were placed on a young man at the tender age of 18 years and that he did such evil deeds in the name of “freedom and liberty”. And you won’t want to even entertain the notion that this is not just one veteran’s story. There are thousands of stories akin to this one.” (Julie - Mrs Rubicon)
"Within 2-1/2 years I became guilty of planning and assisting in the slaughter of thousands, and was directly responsible for the killing of >300, from a distance, close up, and personal. I had become everything I despised...” (Rubicon)
“I'VE BEEN ASKED… why November and December bother me so deeply, when the time of year is for Thanks and Love. But the time of year is also for reflection. In November 1980, while Americans prepared to give Thanks for being alive and well, at the beginning of the month I was in the Guatemalan jungle taking the lives of four men by knife strikes, because the God Capitalism demanded it. At the end of the month, while Americans were in earnest to give Thanks and feel warm and cozy with family, I was in El Salvador killing and helping to kill several hundred men and women, and I put a bullet in the brain of man for whom I had, and still have, respect, because the God Capitalism demanded it. In the first third of December 1980, I was in Central America again, while Americans were snug in their beds, with visions of power, glory, and sugarplums in their heads, and I was executing a plan to kill ~1000 people, and once again I was killing guards with knife strikes and being soaked in blood. I did this for ALL Americans and their God, Capitalism. THIS is what I reflect on every November and December (and every other month has its own reflections). Within 30 days I had killed and helped kill ~1400 humans. THIS is what you ask young men without developed frontal lobes to do for you... your Dirty Work for false Gods...” - Rubicon (Notes for X Rubicon)
From the author…
Pronounced gree-O-tah. I am a combat veteran. This book is a first-hand account of Rubicon's military experience journey in CIA proxy wars. The depth of his pain and experience that I have personally witnessed moved me to convince him, along with his wife, to open up and detail the events which changed him through time. Ignorance of the American (and other colonial) people is at the heart of much of the cause and effect. I have great respect for combat veterans and all who must face the evils of their life or past and actually commit themselves to examination and change. I despise zealots of religion, power, politics, and money. My writing is ferocious in this regard, yet deeply caring for the person involved in dealing with the propaganda and lies which led to the committing of atrocities.
What people are saying…
“This book will challenge you. It's intense & it really is an indictment as the subtitle states. It's raw, very vulnerable, bravely written and an honest track into a man's life. It made me look at human suffering, sex, politics, & how impactful a combat military experience really is. I cried many times while reading it. While the subject matter is emotionally rough, the writing itself is smooth and flows easily. It hits you at your own vulnerable parts. Stay with it even when it feels overwhelming. It's well worth it and it will stay with you and bring new awareness of your role in sending young men into combat. I highly recommend it.”
“This book is an unfiltered first-hand story of a boy thrown into the CIA's secret proxy wars and his journey on realizing what he was doing and who it was really for. It's a veteran’s rebuke of the general accepted beliefs that lead to endless war. It will draw you in, shock you, and give you the truth that you may or may not want to know.”
“This book is a must read for every adult in the United States. To see what high demands are put on our young men in the service is unreal. The lies our government tells our young men is disgusting. They are told what they are doing is “serving their country” when in reality, they are serving greedy power hungry politicians who thirst for unjust power.
”This book shows how “serving his country” utterly destroyed this man’s life and his wife’s. If not for this man’s wife’s constant struggle and love for her husband, he would not be here to WAKE US ALL UP by telling his horrible experience. READ THIS BOOK PLEASE!!!!!”
“Have you ever wondered what our military (mostly men) are commanded to do & why? If you are like most Americans, you don't really want to know. And at the same time perhaps you have swallowed the lies our government perpetuates telling us it's all in the name of freedom! Wake up!!
This book is a first hand account of a young man's experience killing as a military scout. And the damage it wreaked on his life for 40+ years.
It's a wake up call!
It's a must read!
It's prophetic & jarring!
And it's not fiction.
It's gut wrenching & real.
My friend gave me this book as a gift. The protagonist's wife wrote a heartfelt foreword. It helped me in understanding my husband's military experience and why he never wanted to talk to me about it. Buy this book! It's a wake up call!!”
“This book was a great read, exciting and sexy. Tough to put down… A great behind the scenes view of what really happens in our screwed up government and military machine, especially the VA.”
“Griobhtha shares a perspective that is bravely honest, and incredibly open. I found myself simultaneously shocked and amazed as I shared in the [protagonsist’s] heart-wrenching experiences at a formative time in his life. This book is a wake-up call. A strenuous and emotional read as well an invitation to examine my own perception of what is true versus what I am told to believe.”
“Sean's book truthfully takes the reader through a horrendous 2.5 years of deception and death, and 40+ years of locking away emotions and truth. His compassion comes through as he describes the aftermath of PTSD. This is a narrative that is jarring and unsettling, but there is a sense that knowing the true invites us to change the reality of our love affair with the military. We can wake up, become aware of what we have allowed to happen with the trillions of dollars spent to kill and ravage other countries (all in the name of America), and change the trajectory of our role in the world. There is hope if we are honest and learn from our past.” (Jules Bond)
“This is NOT another patriotic account of war vainglory. It is a raw and vulnerable account of a man coming to terms with what he has done and how he has grown in life. A veteran of CIA proxy conflicts in El Salvador, Guatemala, and Nicaragua has given his story to the author. It is very intense writing, and takes a first hand critical view of the VA, CIA, Presidents, Congress, and especially the American public. I found myself weeping and drawn to the arguments made. It seems geared totally toward combat PTSD, combat veterans, their SO's, young men especially, and an ignorant public. There is plenty of discussion on dealing with an intense PTSD over a life-time, and some advice for sufferers and their SO's and family. It's definitely a different paradigm in this narrative than I've ever read before. The veteran's wife wrote the Foreward and it will definitely grab your heart and conscience.” (Barnes & Noble Editorial Review - AS)
“Very well written, easy flow throughout the book. Very impressed with the candor of this author. Learned so much about the military and what I learned I didn’t like. I wish PTSD [diagnoses] was around to help this author. A must read!”
“Beware! This book is full of hatred, lies, antisemitism and call for violence! Horrible!” (from the dear friend of the recipient of Dear Zionist. She hasn’t purchased the book nor read it but felt compelled to write a review.)
Available from…
Ingram, Global Connect, Bookshop.org & independent booksellers, Amazon, & your favorite digital store
Editions in…
English, German, French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Indonesian, Russian, and more to come; Ingram links here.
“This book is the work of actual humans. Please support humanity.”