I called for the chopper to pick me up. They landed in the road and when the gunner pulled me in he said, “Holy fuck! What happened to you?” This caused the pilot and co-pilot to turn around and look, and they asked if that was my blood. Assured that I was OK and the blood wasn’t mine, they just looked with mouths agape and shook their heads. We returned to the airbase and I entered the C-130. The pilot saw me laying on the webbed seating and said, “What the fuck have you been doing? Don’t get that blood on my seats.” I suppose he thought that was clever and funny. I just flipped him off.
Noticing the amount of blood on my clothing and boots, arms and hands, and face, when we landed at Hurlburt I requested time to get cleaned up and change my clothes. Lt Weasel denied this request and ordered me into debriefing immediately. I gave my account, choosing not to tell the Lt anything regarding my thoughts, because he would just berate them. As he talked, and this is the first time I can remember consciously doing this, I completely tuned him out. I know from looking at the clock before and after that his mouth started moving and continued non-stop for 30 solid minutes. I had been looking at my clothes and the blood, noticing how it stained my hands and caked in my fingernails. Then my mind wandered, back to the mission, other missions… floating and wandering, maybe even hiking. When he finished and asked if I had heard him, I looked down again at the blood on my clothes. I noticed in places that the cakes were thick and hadn’t fully dried, leaving them soft and fluid underneath. I had not heard a single word he had said, nor had I wanted to. I rose slowly and extended my hand for a handshake. He took my hand even though he was grossed out by the blood on my hands, and I shook, and I pulled him in tight and bear hugged him and said, “Thank you for all your advice.” When I released him he had blood spots all over his uniform. He turned green and I thought he was going to puke, and he left the room, not to return. Bill looked at me and laughed, and asked, “You didn’t hear a word he said, did you?” I shook my head no and took my leave to go clean up.
X Rubicon - Final Rest Camp
https://www.amazon.com/Rubicon-Crossing-Killing-indictment-Citizens/dp/B0B2DT65HR/